Bi-lingual...

The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice

Hearing you speak my name

Beckoning me to answer

Telling me you want me

So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love

Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of uTracing your shadowscape

Trust...

Safety & trust... twin sides of the same coin. - both involve risk and both form the foundation of any great relationship

Safety - the feeling you get when you have trust

Its weird how we say we can trust someone, or we have trust issues and etc?

But we trust total strangers easily in everyday life. The reason may be that we trust a stranger easier than intimate partners is cause we think that a stranger cannot hurt us like we imagine. But then... there was something i read..

' it takes a great deal of trust to drive a car down the road at 100kmh and an oncoming car on the other side also at a 100kmh and only one white line separating the two of you.'

The potential for danger is great- you dont know if the other person has been drinkng; you dont know if he's gonna stay on his side of the road. That actually takes alot of trust

Two of the thoughts paterns that destroy trust in reaionships are dwelling on the past pain and futurizing about potential negative events that haven't happened. Every time your mind starts to make up wild stories that involve abandonment, guilt, jealousy- those visuals or tapes just keep on playing in your mind and just dont stop!

THAT WAS THE PROBLEM.... NOW HOW DID WE GET RID OF IT?

Is it possible to bring yourself back to the present moment and differentiate the past, future and the present. 

My thoughts... 

When we have these negative feelings, we talk about them, not hiding them but being honest, we know the source came fromt he past, the situation in your head is not threatening to the other person, but how do we let those negatives thoughts go.

In a young relationship, you need to bridge the differences, get to know one another, but then the basis of any good relationship has to be trust. So... without trust, its a challenging feat.

What bothers you...

in HER life....

I asked him what was wrong - he said nothing

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset - he said it had nothing to do with me and not t worry

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled ad kept driving. I cant explain his behaviour; I dont know why he dint say 'I love you too'. 

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore, He just sat there and watced TV. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation, but he had fallen asleep.

I'm almost sure his thoughts are with someone else...

In HIS life..

Work is sooooo fucked up. Someone I knew really fucked me over..

The thin line

Sitting in this new found mamak... Black and white.. a bit the high class mamak..

was chatting with C aka 'siti' (In future, all references to C will be made as Siti)... hahah.. A comment was passed, about territorial / overprotective boyfriends..

thus...

What is the thin line between a protective boyfriend and a OVERPROTECTIVE boyfriend...

This is what I think......

Protective if he's worried about your health or safety (drinking too much, being assaulted, not eating right, not sleeping enough) but still lets you go out on your own or with friends - and is confident enough you wont cheat on him.

Overprotective is if he's trying to stop you from doing things without him because he doesn't trust you or doesn't want you to have fun without him and is unnecessarily jealous. Possessive is the next step - when he sees you as his property and thinks he can control every part of your life (clothes, ho ; bbies, who you meet...) Thats definately a step too far and that step isnt very big.....

What do you think?

to know or not to know....

What which would you prefer?

To know and be hurt?

To assume and cause yourself mental torture?

To ask and not believe?

To act upon your assumptions and maybe screw things over?

What would you do?

Californian Curb Kick

Hmmh.... something I dint know existed actually does.. and it even has a name.

'Californian Curb kick'

To curb : the act of 'curbing'. Slang for a horribly disgusting way of inflicting damage/and or causing death.

It involves someone open mouth biting on the corner of the curb so they are open jawed across the cement. You then stomp on the back of their head causing their jaw to split open across the curb.

Commonly the results would be, massive reconstructive surgery and dental work, if not death.

If you see that guy again, you probably cant recognize him, but if you dont know where he is.... he probably died..

Interesting....  What would case someone to inflict or receive such an act..

Days of our lives...

"Has what you done in the past have in whatever way improved your quality of life?"

These words was taken off the movie 'American History X'... Some scenes depicted in the movie have struck some parts of my mind, some buried memories that come alive.

Memories that should have been buried, its weird that at the point you do things in life, you don't see the extend of how wrong or right it is... but when you see it through someone else.. it strikes much more..

Sometimes when we are young, we do stupid things, things that would haunt us for the rest of our lives, some people would have regretted their actions some will not, but for those who did, I thank the world to some extend that they would give us a second chance to redeem and prove ourselves...

but for the rest... well too bad...

Another quote I like..

"History is a people's memory, and without a memore, man is demoted to the lower animals"

Malcom X

Id, ego and super ego....

Interesting theory..

The brain divided into three parts, the id, the ego and super ego.

The id. Pleasure

The part which wants only pleasure, without though/conscience. Total opposite of the super ego.

Like a new born baby, it does not know right from wrong, it just wants to have fun. Without thinking of the norm of the world.

The ego.

Caught in between the id and the super ego. The part with conscience. It wants to satisfy the id and at the same time the super ego. It is the part of us that wants to be norm. The part that wants to fit in the world and what we learn as is right

The super ego. Total opposite of the id

The father figure, the one which wants to be right..

I'm bored.... and I miss her... :-(

A Prayer....

A prayer for the stressed!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I cannot accept,

and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had 

to kill today because they pissed me off

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on

today as they may be attached to the ass that I may have

to kiss tomorrow

Help me to always give 100% at work

12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday

5% on Friday

and help me to remember...

When I'm having a really bad day,

and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,

that it takes 42 muscles to frown but

only 4 to extende my middle finger and tell them to Fuck Off!!!

Amen