Monday, July 28, 2008

Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard

I Dont know you
But I Want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
and i cant react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I cant go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I;m Painted black
You have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
we've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You;ve made it now


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Content....

Whoa..... cant remember much during the last two weeks...

All I know is dat have been up and down Singapore many times.. HA hahaha... I;m the new unpaid driver! DAMN!!!

STYLO SG seems to be kicking of well, the first leg would be the prelude launch on the 1st of August in HKL..
So work = 8/10 hahahaha fo rnow.. hope it would be 12/10

Relationships... well I guess that goes better... hahaha

Me and that certain someone have decided to give it a try.. so we are on 'probation' hahaha Doink!

Its funny, how in the initial stage, she would say, NOoooooo, dont wanna be involved, because of too may uncertainties in life, dont wana get hurt bla bla bla..

And me still being there, well as the saying goes, ... (Whats that saying again).. somehting about always being around and the heart grows fonder hahahaha..

Anyways yeah.... HAHAHA

Well... its still a bit difficult as there are some people around that would like to dictate my life. weirdos!!!

'Dont date her' , 'I dont have good feelings', 'she is too young for you'.... GOD!!!! Whats up with you people....!!!!!

You dont even know her, how can you judge???? STUPID!!!

None the less... I am living my life and those who have their opinions.. well .. Fuck Off!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA
Anyways.. yeah.. Am contente for now, I am happy being with her, Happy doing things for her, Just happy with her presence... 

Oh boy... I think I'm in Love!!!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Feelings of uncertainty

Uncertainty is a term used in subtly different ways in a number of fields including philosophy, statistics, economics, finance, insurance, psychology, sociology, engineering, information science... and our very conscious...

I know someone who had this thought of uncertain death.... and flash that she would die. Today in fact. 5th July. and could even describe the manner of her ascertain death...

I worry for her... I offered to come over cause I heard she was down... She asked me for what..

I have no reply....

I wanna be around someone I care about.. I wanna be there for her... but haih... I dont think she wants me around..

Maybe my uncertain death is coming... death to the heart... again..


Stylo Singapore

Just got back from countless meeting in Singapore...

Been driving like for 20 hours over two days...

Meetings was good...in my opinion.. S

Scheduled for the 26th of September... 

Got to fly down on Monday for a 9.30am meet there and then come back.. then drive down on wednesday and back on thursday... ARGH!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, July 3, 2008

Macha...

Macha.... the nickname that the usual suspects had given to my ex housemate...

This is his story...

He moves outta my house, 
Still has my keys, cause i did tell him if you ever feel lonely call me and come over
then he goes.
So i thought.......

One day i come back, and he sits in the hall... I keep quiet.
as far as i recall, I did say call before coming. weird.. don't think he understands english..
anyways, Leisa has some alcohol stored over, and his visits gets more frequent. the alcohol depletes....

CHEAP BASTARD!!!!

he then does the worst thing ever. He backstabs me to his bosses who know my boss very well. That was the last straw for this fuckin loser.

Changed my locks. Don need to tell him anything. Dont owe him any explanation.

What kind of loser is this????




The things you do...

the things you do that put a smile on my face... even when i show you a shitty face... but then if i showed you i like it... then you would stop..

... when you do that nasal laugh
... when you tickle me
... when you poke me and try to irritate me
... when you reply my messages
... when you hug me
... when you follow me out and bear with my friends who can be pains occasonally
... when you fix the woodcraft
... when you are there when i need you
... when you chase me around in the mall
... when you let all cares go and be a child
... when you ask me for help
... when you say my name
... when you compliment me
... when you lay beside me
... when you sleep on my arm
... when you follow me for house shopping
... when you change my sheets
... when you smile, it feels like a bunch of roses just bloomed.....

..........

Someone....

Met a girl recently...

Well actually met her during STYLO kl,

Initial thought = she was a spoiled brat.. hahahahaha

Then met her again recently.. when she was looking for a job, introduced her to my boss, which had been drinking and upset, thanks to the moron NIGEL GAN, who just had to tell her on that day that he was leaving the company and joining 'Taman Taman'. Fucker!... sorry.. just had to say it la..

andways... this gal meeting upset boss... not good.. she left unhappy..


Back to the plot...

Changed my perception of her, she was actually not a spoilt brat, she was actually quite the opposite. she was down to earth...

(psst.... she still harping on the fact that i thought she was a brat/bimbo... )

anyways... after that night did not see her, then bout 2 weeks later when i'm out with the usual suspects (Me, Bryan, Eke, Leisa, and Priya).. we went to Social..and as we were leavng.. there was this familar face sitting outside the place talking on the phone...

Greeted her, said hello... and left.. went down ti Nirvanas to have supper. Texted her that its not safe talking on the phone at night alone especially in bangsar.. And she replies.. and i reply and she replies and i repli x 11ty2 million times..

hahahhahah

anyways... I finally ask her out for dinner. Took her to attic in bangsar. Twas a Sunday...
We had some dinner and suffered with the horrible sounding band..

oh and if anyone who reads this works/knows the owner of the attica.. please tell him his shound sucks. For 1 ... you dont face your speakers towards each other... its just wrong dude... oh.. and if you wanna amplify something.. amplify everything!!!!

yeah...

so we left from attic and went to a mamak near her place..chilled there till like 6 am... then left for home and suffered the whole day at work.. sigh...

anyways, twas the next day that  text and told her that i like her... like 'like'.. and she goes to saying noooooooo.. hahahaha.. no la she had her reasons, and even told me to stop. or things just might get messy...

two things i could do
1) leave and sulk
2)stay and maybe get hurt or maybe not

I chose No.2

Some of my guy friends gave me different opinions
1) Leg i dude.. if she says so.. leave her alone.. or she;ll just milk you dry
  2) Bro... the only opinion that matter is your own. Dont listen to others, especially matters of the heart

and so... I chose No. 2 again

We then went out many times.. chilled for hours, talked over the phone for hours, we text like almost everyday. It almost seems like we're in a relationship already... hahahah

Anyways, i then ask her again 'Remember when you said nothing will ever happen between us, does it still apply' and she goes on to saying," yes it still does. and please stop liking me, it may be my mistake for someone great like you go but thats my prerogative" 

Haih... I just dunno what to do...

anyways I just put it past me, swear t myself that i;ll never bring it up to her again. We still are the same, if not closer.

She stays over, we chill, I can lie down still and not say a word, and still feel content just with her very presence...

I'm in love I guess... Yes I am... I think about her all the time, I care for her, I love her..

But yes I know it will never come to a conclusion, it will never happened, It will be me just in love with someone who will never be loved back...

The time will come when i'll be broken to a million pieces, when i;ll be hurt so bad beyond recognition.. I just hope someone will be there when it happens... to help me piece back the parts into 1....

But for now, I'll just love her and care for her as much as I can. for some reason she makes me whole when i;m with her. Like the missing piece in the puzzle she fits ever so perfectly....



Alcohol

Oh guess what... I quit drinking!!!!!! till December 19th 2008 at least...

Woo Hoo..

Apparently there are many bets running bets that i'll loose... hmmh.. wonder if I can cash in!!!

New found

Friends......

is someone special,
A friend
is that special one
A friend
is someone you never lie to
A friend
can b a boy or a girl
A friend
is someone that is always
A friend
will always listen to you
A friend
always has input to give
A friend
will never leave you in the dust
A friend
Will help you through the thick and the thin
A friend 
will always stand by your side
A friend
will never let you down
A friend
is someone everyone needs


Hmmh.... 24 years of my life,
Many friends I've had,
Many have come,
Many have gone,

But who are my friends, my real friends.. friends who have been there throughout my life?

For years over Ive always claimed that i dont have friends or shoulders to lean on...
for years I though I was alone...

Perhaps, because I grew up too fast? too mature? too wat???

Ive isolated the ones who cared, the ones who were sincere...

Mistakes ive made, will haunt you when least expect...

I guess, time has changed my perception,

its time i've allowed some people in y life..

 I met Bryan Bam Bam, Eke@Chalkie, Louise@LULU... oh and Sree... surprisingly.. even though we know each other for only but a few weeks, somehow it feels we know a lot.. sometimes maybe too much...

But then i love ya all!!!










Stylo Music Fest

ahhhhhh... A new baby!!!! and its mine..

STYLO MUSIC FESTIVAL.... as much as I am happy, as much I am tired already... just thinking of the work

HAHAHAHAHA

It'l be fun..


And thank god for Puven!!!! Such a life saver, more than a friend, more than a bro...!!!

And not to all you dots who think that sounds gay. IT DOES NOT AND WE ARE NOT!!!

Cheers!!!

Sorry

To all that I have hurt, indirectly or directly in the past and present.....

Sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry for making you mad
Sorry for everything I said
Sorry for lying to you
Sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry if I disappointed you
Sorry if I hurt you
Sorry for everything
Sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry that I liked you
Sorry that i dreamt of you
Sorry that i missed you
Sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry that I loved you
Sorry that you dint
Sorry that we had to fight
Sorry, I'm so sorry

Sorry....





looking back....

hey... 

Its been a while since i sat here, since i sat her typing and spilling (verbal/typing diarrhoea) all my emotions thoughts and ideas here on this pathetic website...

I know all my recent post are quite emotional and probably leads those who read, or me potraying that i have no life. Quite lame dont you think....?

I must say many things have happened since, some good, some bad, and some just...normal..

hahaha

I shall ignore my past, the recent ones at least...

after my last post, K who read my post was offended on what i wrote, we had some verbal disagreements... and we sorted. or at least i think...

Well, she may have done some bad things to me, or so I make it seem. I'm sorry.
But, its not entirely her fault... it takes two to clap...

Things i may have done or said could have led to things being ugly...

Anyways... bottom line now, she has apologized to me, and I....being the stubborn ass that I am, just cant forgive..

Why?  I dont know... Partly maybe because I dont wanna get hurt no more? or maybe just the male ego kicking in? I dunno...

It works fine with me, so why should i change it right?....