Your wife turned Lesbo, your daughter's a slut
Your son, Richard Junior, likes dicks in his butt.
Your boss is an asshole who thinks you're a jerk.
You'd rather be beaten than show up for work.
The bank has foreclosed on that dump you call home
There's less hairs on your head than those stuck in your comb.
Your car just got reposed, your daughter's with child
Your dyke wife informs you, divorce has been filed.
Your dog got run over by the neighbor you hate,
and you know its your fault for not closing the gate
Just when you thought your life could'nt suck anymore,
you discover your dick has an open sore.
You go to your doctor who just shakes his head,
so make the decision you'll better be off dead.
But the only pill on your medicine shelf,
that you can OD on to finish yourself
is a bottle of Viagra, so you take every one,
waiting for death, but experiencing none.
Instead of those damn pills ending your life,
your dick just falls off, increasing your strife.
SO always remember, whatever your pain,
whatever your problems that drive you insane,
Someone, somewhere is worse off than you
In the overall picture, your problems are few.
NOW, shut the fuck up and get me a beer!
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