Goodbye love...

I don't really want to say goodbye

I don't really want to leave you

But now u have to go away

and I stay away from you forever

What we had was something special

Deep down from our hearts

But now u have to go away

And leave me from your heart

Confused...

What is this feeling I have?

I seem to love you

But other times I seem to loathe you

I can't be without you

Or maybe just without anyone

I think about you all the time

But why do I have this feeling?

I long for your voice

And I would die to hear your laugh

But is this love

Or merely lust?

RAW

It's nice new placein Solaris, went there by accident just out of pure boredom.
Great place... found nice solitude fo rmyself and alcohol...

All emotions and feeligns crushed as soon as the barman greeted me...

His face brought back so many memores and images..

The memory of walking in my house, of figuring out why the door was lock...

The feeling of my heart pounding away...

The cold sweat that treaded down my forehead...

The thoughts that flashed my mind...

The minute i opened the door....

The expression i saw....

The betrayal that slapped me across the face...

The hurt, the pain...

....


Trying to put the thought behind me and get it over, the fact that 2 years of my life was a complete waste of time... Then when all is calm... I see the face that stirs it up... the person who can invoke a great deal of energy from me... the face of one my beloved betrayed me upon...

Why do we love and let love?
Why live and let live?

......

STYLO....

STYLO...? Dont ask me who chose the name....DONT!

its approx 22 days to the day... life is just so hectic, 18 hour work days with no off days..

It Sucks!!!

Just to say it!

Bali....08

6/01/2008... depart from KL at 4.40... get on the plane fly through rain clouds all the way to Bali.. after many sequences of my life flashing by..Touchdown at 7.40 in Denpasar (Pictures to come)

Looked around for my pick up... no sign.. and stupid mobil phone just wont roam.. ARGH!!!

Found a public telephone, made the call, met with up with Mike.

Headed on down south to Jimbaran, apparently where the best seafood is found on the island

Nice place, it was on the beach literally. Went to a shop called Megna cafe, which is the best and also where the bomb was.. Scary....

Left Jimbaran to Ku De Ta, had a couple of drinks, did not take any photos though...then checked in in Casa Indigo, a boutique minimalist hotel in Jln Petitenget, Semiyak... nice place.. Per night is RP400k.. Website is http://www.casaindigobali.com/

Yeah.. pictures was taken next morning... after i messed the place up

Anyways, Mike and Danielle left for home, and me... with my itchy legs, started to paint Bali in a nice shade of red.....Took a taxi to Kuta/Legian, where all the Aussie beer fulled belly ppl were, hit a few clubs, Gals were very nice to the eye haha

1st stop, Poppies, twas alright, moderately packed, nothing interesting, next stop, Bounty, has 2 floors, upstairs for R&B and downstairs for House. House floor was dead... and R&B was just pumping... Lotsa gals.. and guys witout shirts.. hot sticky and stinky..

Went on to other clubs around... Nothing interesting.. Which idot would wanna club on a sunday right...

Back to casa.. zzzzzzzz

Day 2 : Woke up with many calls from mike to have breaksfast, dragged myself outta bed.. packed my stuff, went down to ku de ta, had an english breakfast, very nice... After breakfast went around town, just roaming aimlessly... nothing interesting..

Met up with some friends in the evening.. back in Ku De Ta.. really getting hooked to this place.. nice..

Went around in the area.. still not much action on a monday. Had to leave early cause now moving into Mike's house...in Seminyak

Had the whole place to myself... Nice.. well at least till some point haha...

ZZZzzzzzzzzz

Day 3. Woke up at 10.30 with a massive hangover, went breakfast in Daydream.. forgot the cam..sigh..

Went with Mike for furniture shopping and a massage... Clean Massage.. Headed back home to pack stuff again, now going to Sanur, the Ylang Ylang villa which is where i'll be staying for the rest of my stay...

...Nothing much to say bout the house.. and the bathroom.. oooooooooooooooh the bathroom...

Now also has been granted permission to use the car.... its time to drive around Bali.. but right now.. too tired to write more.. Will continue tomorrow....

The Low Man....

These words keep ringing in my head... They stay on like a scar in my brain,, like and incureable virus in blood...

'Love aint easy to find,

but what you

have you aint gratefull'

Haih..... Was I being selfish? Was Iwrong or was I right?

Questions & questions...

'My eyes seek reality,

My fingers seek my veins,

There's a dog at your back step.

He must come in from the rain.

I fall 'cause I let go.

The net below has right away.

So my eyes seek reality.

And my fingers seek my veins.

The trash fire is warm.

But nowhere safe from the storm

And I can't bare to see

What I've let me be

So wicked and worn

So as I write to you

Of what is done and to do

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man'cause low man is due

Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality

My fingers feel for flame

Touch clean with a dirty hand

I touched the clean to the waste

The trash fire is warm

But nowhere safe from the storm

And I can't bare to seeWhat I've let me be

So wicked and worn

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man'cause low man is due

Please forgive me

Please forgive me

Please forgive me

So low the sky is all I see

All I want from you is forgive me

So you bring this poor dog in from the rain

Though he just wants right back out again

So I cry to the alley way

Confess all to the rain

But I lie, lie straight to the mirror

One I've broken to match my face

The trash fire is warm

But nowhere safe from the storm

And I can't bare to seeWhat I've let me be

So wicked and worn

Maybe you'll understand

And won't cry for this man'cause low man is due

Please forgive me

Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality

My fingers seek my veins'

Maybe we should not look for the logic or reason in things, but instead just let it happen....

Penang....

Hey Hey peeps!!!!

BIG Shout out to Cherry from Corum!!!!!!!!!Thank you for helping us get intoxicated.....

Cherry contributed a btl of Chivas & Bacardi.... yay!!!

We stayed at Northam suites.... Review.... 2 out of 5

Service : Extremely bad, food servers were super slow in taking orders, Food items (Cheescake) arrived stale & bad.

Rooms : acceptable, except when Nij had a shower, the whole shower head came off. Nice

Below some pctures we took...

Adri & Lis dying of hunger.......

Nij.. Enjoying his cheese!!!

Lissssssssss.....

Views from the room.....

Super NIj... after a swim.....

Brians.... imaginary 'wrestling' before sleep....

Beach at Bt. Feringghi..(I think dats how you spell it)Sunset......

The gang... just before leaving....

Programme in Penang....

Day 1, Lunch at hotel, sleep, swim bla bla bla, Go have dinner with NY in Lecka Lecka.. (not enoght food), drinking in some gay joint - Momo (What a name), back to room, drink some more.

Day 2, breakfast in Bali Hai-dim sum, Lunch... err breakfast was lunch.. went merayau, back to hotel to swim, dinner in bt feringghi, went DVD shopping, back to room, continue drinking

Day 3, drive back to kl with hangover...

yeah...

For more pictures, go to brians link or nij...